Catholic Singles

STARTING OVER
BY: MARK ANTHONY ROSOLOWSKI


Remember as a child you would call for a "Do Over", and then the game would start over. It was so easy then, just yell, "Do Over", those magical words that made all games fair and settled many arguments. Starting over solved all the problems of the world, from who went first in the Tic-Tac-Toe Championship of the World Game, to the really important game of Hide and Seek.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all still do that, when things did not go as planned, just yell out, “Do Over.“ We would magically start again, as if nothing had happened and we could begin anew and do things differently. Every sad moment in our lives could be washed away and we would all live joyous happy lives. Or would we?

I often think back to the last dance I shared with my wife, I wish I could yell “Do Over”, so that the dance would be endless and we would dance together forever. But, a “Do Over” cannot be done, so I am left with the memories of that night.

I remember giving my wife her bath that afternoon, dressing her, putting the corsage of yellow roses on her wrist and then driving to the Columbus Day Ball. We sat at the head table and after dinner I asked the DJ to please play, “The Dance”, by Garth Brooks. As I took her out to the dance floor in her wheelchair, everyone else left the floor. We danced to a song we both loved. Not knowing the song I picked would be so appropriate for our last dance together.

The song says, “Looking back on the memories of the dance we shared beneath the stars above, for a moment all the world was right, how could I have known that you would ever say good-bye.” Maybe, I was lead to that song for a reason, since I cannot have a “Do Over”, God knew, I would need a strong memory that I could hold on to.

The song also says, “And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go, our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance.” There is a reason we cannot have a “Do Over“, in God’s wisdom, He knew the happiness we would miss if we kept starting over, doing things differently. It is best that we cannot do things again, no starting over, just lead the life you have and live to the fullest. That is also mentioned in the song, as it continues, “And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go, our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance.”

Pain is a part of life; we must accept pain so that we know happiness. I have heard people say I would never have married that, “#$%^&&^%$#@!*&^%, if I knew this was going to happen.” Then I look at them holding their grandchild, laughing and loving God’s precious gift I wonder to myself, if the marriage never happened then the grandchild would not be here. Isn’t it a great thing that we do not know, or that we cannot start again?

The part of the song that to this day brings tears to my eyes is, “Holding you I held everything, for a moment wasn't I the king, but if I'd only known how the king would fall, hey who's to say, you know I might have changed it all and now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end the way it all would go, our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance.” This is so into the heart of the matter of wanting to start over and why we should not wish we could nor do things differently. If I did anything differently, I would never have held her, I would never have felt I was on top of the world with the love we shared, and I would not have felt the anguish as I fell from the top at her death. But, the anguish is the price I pay for not having a “Do Over”, or “Starting Again”, and when asked, I will answer, “Yes, the happiness, is worth the pain.” So, I thank God we cannot have a start over in our lives.