Catholic Singles

God Is There
By: Mark Anthony Rosolowski


I was walking down the street today and was thinking about my life, what I have done, what I have not done and what I am going to do.

I looked back onto my childhood, I saw me as a small child, holding daddy's hand, sitting on a hill by the river watching the ferries transport travelers from one side or the river to the other. I saw myself sitting on his lap in awe at his size and strength, thinking I want to be like him. I felt his love, in all of that but not knowing it at the time, I was looking at God.

In my memories, I saw a day that I still remember with heartache, I was 6 years old, less then a month before I turned 7, when my mother had to tell me that my daddy had died, I cannot recall how I felt, I do not believe a 6 year old can put those feelings into words, but I do remember feeling the lost of my best buddy.

I can see myself going to school the next day, my mother rightfully teaching me that we are to go on with life, it is not just what my father would want, but God would as well. I remember tell Miss Kilgore that my father died, the class looking at me as we all said a Hail Mary for my father, not realizing it at the time, but I saw God that day.

A month later, my mother made sure we celebrated my birthday, about a week later we celebrated Thanksgiving and a month later the house was decorated, and Santa Claus came, I remember seeing the smile on my mother’s face as we opened our presents. In that smile, I saw God that day unbeknownst to me.

As I was growing up, I watched my mother work, watched her struggle, but no matter how tired she was she always had time for me, to show me love, to care for me to make sure she provided for me, gave me a home and food, an education and love, I wish I had known it then but I saw God there.

I remembered the day my brother went to the hospital, for the last time, the last day I talked to him, how I wish I had told him that I loved him, he was important to me, but I was 15 and too cool to say I love you to my brother, I lost that chance. As I was told he had died, I felt his love come to me, why couldn’t I see God was there.

I graduated high school. how I hated taking those stupid pictures, I wish now I could repeat those times so I could tell my mother, I loved to have those pictures taken, she was proud of me, wanted me to be proud of myself, I wish I could have seen that God was there in my mother’s eyes.

I met the woman who would become my wife, I knew she was the one for me instantly, how I knew that I did not know at the time but now I do, God was there.

I married my wife, how we loved each other, God was there, where there is love God is there. We had our problems and our troubles, but we always had our love, I was beginning to realize God was always there.

A few years later my daughter was born, as I held her in my arms, so tiny, so much in need of love, I finally realized, God was there.

Five years later my son was born, he was premature and due to complications my wife nearly died, I was in the waiting room, God was sitting next to me, He was holding me, as I asked Him to please let them both be okay, I spoke to God as a friend, He gave me what I asked for, God was there.

Our lives passed quickly, too quickly actually, the day came when we found out my wife was sick. My wife smiled and accepted her fate, she smiled and laughed through her illness, she never stopped, as I saw her laying there in pain and anguish, I prayed to God to let her out of her pain and to give it to me, I did not want to see her in pain, I loved her too much, God was there and He answered me, He took my wife home, I cursed at God for taking her, but later I heard, “Mark my son, she is no longer in pain, she is here with Me, she is walking and dancing, she is waiting for you.” God was there.

Now I have gone through a lot suffering of my own, a heart attack, a stroke and also having MS, I lean on God, I hold His Hand when I am scared, I ask Him to carry me when I am too weak and I ask Him to look over me at all times. God is there, He will never leave me alone, He will never abandon me.

I have asked God to lead me to a new love, a lady I can spend the rest of my life with and I have heard God answer me, “Mark, my son, I will lead you, keep your eyes on me and listen and I will bring you to your love.”

I know when I find her God will be there.