Catholic Singles

CALLING TO ME
BY: MARK ANTHONY ROSOLOWSKI

I walked into the store that March afternoon, I heard you calling me name. It had been twenty-seven years since I had heard you call my name. You were calling to me, begging me to come to you. I came over to you and saw you sitting there; I could see you smiling, as you promised to comfort me. I could hear the laughter in your voice, as you told me how you could help me. I remembered you so well; you use to be a good friend of mine.

I left you in the store that day, and I drove home. I remembered your friendship; I remembered how you were always there for me. I thought abut how many times I reached out for you and you were there for me. How I loved to come home at the end of the day and find you there waiting for me. At times I would go out to find you as well, and when I found you we would get together, get a corner table and spend time together.

I would talk to you for hours on end, just talking and you would listen. The more I talked to you, the more my problems seemed to fade away. I was so happy to have you as a friend, you never complained, you never disagreed and you never found fault, you just listened and eased my mind. I could sit with you for hours on end, when I would leave, I would promise you that I would be back tomorrow, and you told me you would be there.

Finally one day I discovered that you were not my friend at all, I found out that you were a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I remembered how deceptive you were, how cunning, how sly. I remembered how you would lure people into your presence with empty promises and empty guarantees of a better life. I remember when I found that out, I left you, I promised myself never to return, and I never forgot who you were or what you did to me.

You thought with the death of my wife I would be easy pry for you. I saw it in your eyes, I saw it in your smile, and I knew that you thought I was weak and vulnerable. I thought back to the day I left you, I remembered that was strong then even though you had me in your grasp. I was able to leave you, and when I walked away I promised God and my wife that I would never return to you. You were in my past and there you would stay.

I will always remember my defeat over you, I left you, you were not happy with the result. I was able to leave you behind; I left you begging me to come back. I proved you were not that powerful, you knew that once I found out how weak you were I would tell others and they would leave you as well. You screamed as I ignored you, as I walked past you and did not pay attention to you. Once again you were proven to be weaker than I was.

I would have had a good excuse to return to you with the death of my wife. However I learned that to go to you with an excuse is no excuse. I smiled as I decided not to go back to you. I left you where you were, you would not return to me and I would not take you back. Our relationship was over, I knew there was nothing that could make me return to you, with the help of God you would never get me again, I belong to God not to you.
You may have had you grips on me once, but this year I will celebrate my twenty-ninth year of sobriety. Alcohol will not lure me in again, thanks to God and my friends in AA.