Catholic Singles

ANGEL OF DEATH
BY: MARK ANTHONY ROSOLOWSKI

Dear Sister:

As I sit by your bedside, watching you slowly drift away from this life, I softly say a prayer for you, that you may have a peaceful journey into the next life.

As I pray, I sense a presence, I look around the room, but there is no one there, but I feel a presence, I sense a touch on my shoulder, I hear a faint whisper, "I will take care of her, I will lead her home, she will be without pain and she will be safe".

I continue to pray and as I do I feel myself drifting off to sleep, I try to stay awake but as I begin to close my eyes I again feel the touch on my shoulder and hear one word spoken, "Remember".

I fall asleep and into a peaceful dream, in this dream, I see us outside of our home, I am around 7, I see you as your are digging a garden, you are going to plant strawberries. I see you as clear as day as you work and I remember how you acted when our brother tried to take your picture, how you hated having your picture taken. I remember how good those strawberries were, I drift away from this memory and...

I jump forward a few years, we are in Pennsylvania, at our grandparents, we are having a picnic, it was just our usual Sunday picnic, but you have your newly painted Mustang parked nearby, I see that Mustang painted Gold, with the top down, it is a beautiful day, we are all laughing and talking, I do not see anything clearly except for your Gold Mustang. I begin to drift away again....

It is a few years later, we are in our backyard, a party. I am getting ready to go to boot camp, you are there, as I watch the party, I now wish I could have told you then that I loved you, but I guess it wasn’t “cool” for a brother to say that to his sister. I leave the party and I drift to...

A few months later, I am getting married, I see you and mom in the pew watching, I wish I could get closer, it looks as though there is a tear in your eye, you are smiling but still crying, I guess it is your way of saying you love me, again I wish as I watch that I would have told you that I love you, this dreams fades off into darkness and....

Another scene comes into focus, we are in the Chapel at N.A.S. Miramar, you are holding my daughter as she is Baptized, I wanted you as the God-.Mother for two reasons, the first was that I loved you and the second was I admired you, I wish I had told you that then, I look over the scene now and do not know why I didn’t tell you. As I think that it goes fuzzy and...

Next, I go ahead many years, I jumped past many things that I remember happening, but they did not appear, instead, I see you at my wife’s funeral. You were there to support me, as you always did, I loved the fact that you were there, why couldn’t I tell you then, did you know that my wife thought of you as her sister, she was closer to you then her own sister, why didn’t I let you know that, it was too late to let you know how she felt about you. it drifts away and I now see...

You in the hospital bed as you are, I tell you I love you, but why couldn’t I tell you this when you were able to appreciate it, why did I wait till now, in the dream, I hear that voice again, “I am here to take your sister home, she is aware of your love for her, she felt it when you were little and teased her, she saw it in your eyes when you talked to her. She knew it when you left for the Navy, she saw it in your eyes, heard it in your voice as you left. She saw the love you had for your wife, the love you learned at home, the love you share with your family, even though you had trouble saying it aloud. She knew it when you asked her to be God-Mother to your daughter, she knew what you felt but could not say. She saw the tears in your eyes at your wife’s funeral, she saw the love you had for your wife, she saw you look at her, the worry in your eyes, knowing she was sick, how would you ever say good bye to her as well. She knew you loved her and she can hear you now, she sees the pain you are feeling as she drifts away into my care. She wants you to know to be strong, continue on with your life , that she takes the love you showed her everyday with her, it makes her strong enough for the journey home, she sees it in your eyes as I take her with me.

I wake up from this dream, I look at you and say a final good-bye and I love you.