Catholic Singles

Dear Fr. Jim,

Im a 23 year old guy and have been thinking that I would like to get married and start a family within the next, oh I don't know, seven or eight years. I have recently been researching the Church's stance on birth control. I must admit, I have been feeling a bit troubled. I know that Natural Family Planning can be approved someimtes but that there needs to be good cause. I know also, that some are opposed to the idea of limiting family size or periodical abstinence in general. In order to be a good Catholic, will I have to find a wife who is open and willing to have, lets say, 25 children? Is this even possible in modern times? What is the right way to go about this issue?

Hi and thanks for your question - a good one at that.

I guess I should begin with explaining a few things - First off the Church doesn't believe that couples must have 25 children - in fact that probably wouldn't be very responsible.  A couple needs to think about what is best for their family, so it's moral and reasonable for them to "plan" things a bit.  But (and you knew a But was coming) - as long as it's moral.  And ine thing that makes it moral is that we're not altering God's design, His plans, and that despite our planning - we remain open to the possibility God has other plans.

That's why Natural Family Planning is considered morally acceptable.  Look at the other alternatives - The Pill alters a women's body chemistry.  Condoms "block" the natural aspect of sexual activity.  In sex, a husband and a wife are saying I love everything about you - I accept you for who you are - I give myself totally and completely to you - I love everything about you.  The pill and condoms comes in and says BUT  that your body can produce a baby or that your semen can cause a pregnancy

Natural Family Planning needs no prescription, has no health risk, costs nothing, involves both the husband and wife - it can be used both to space out births, to avoid pregnancy or to help couples who are trying to have a baby.    So the point is, NFP isn't something that's "limited" in its use.  In fact, there are many spiritual and emotional benefits for couples who practice NFP.

I hope that helps answer your question.  For more information, you might want to check out your local diocese's Family Life/Ministry office that might offer an informational evening on NFP for more details.  Also you might want to check out Christopher West's Introduciton to the Theology of the Body for more in depth explanations of the spirituality of sex.

God Bless,

Fr Jim