Catholic Singles

Fr. Jim,

I have a good friend who has suddenly rejected the legitimacy of the Vatican councils. Basically, he has joined a local group of sedevaticanists who believe that there has been no legitimate pope since Pope Pius XII, and that we should return to a Pre-Vatican state in the church. Obviously, I disagree with his beliefs and worry about both him and our friendship. I have found that it has been difficult to maintain our friendship, and I grow weary of constantly arguing the matter with him. How should I approach this and save our friendship? 

Matt

Dear Matt:

I'm sorry to hear about this difficulty in your friendship.   To be honest, it reminds me of a couple friends of min who've left the Catholic Faith and joined another Christian denomination and then tried to convert me to their new faith (or me trying to re-convert them back!)

In those experiences, when I look back on it, I realize that  it turned more into a battle where each one of us was trying to "win" and prove the other person wrong rather than simply being friends who loved and respected each other as friends who had different feelings and beliefs. 

It's hard, particularly in this case, because it sounds like your friend has gotten passionate in his beliefs (and often times in these situations, the more passionate they become, the more they want others to agree with them)  But I think both you and him need to talk about it and put this on the table - are we more interested in being friends or more interested in proving each other wrong and ourselves right about our religious beliefs?  By putting it that bluntly, and clearly, it might challenge both of you to returning towards approaching one another in friendship rather than as debate teams!

I hope that helps Matt -

God Bless,

Fr Jim