Catholic Singles

Dear Fr. Jim -

I have a question. I have a son who just graduated from a Catholic HS. He is headed to college and  the day before his graduation, he sat down with his sibling and me and told us he was gay.

I have not reacted yet to him or the others.  I need to find the right words to tell him what I think. I am worried about his salvation.

- Thanks for your question.  First off congratulations to your son on his graduation from High School and his beginning this new chapter in his life.

I've thought and prayed about your question over the last week or so.  I think the most important thing for you to do is to tell your son how much you love him.  He's still a young man - and preparing to go to college is an important moment in a young person's life where they start to ask questions about themselves, their families, their upbringing, etc.  For him to make such a revelation must have been a difficult thing for him to do, and I would imagine he feels quite vulnerable and alone. 

So the most important thing I would think for a child to hear from their mother in that position is that they love them, just as they always have...

In terms of worrying about his salvation, I understand you're asking questions in terms of moral questions in terms of homosexuality.    Morally, the Church teaches that any sexual relationship outside of the bonds of marriage is sinful.  So that's the same thing that affects heterosexual couples who aren't married and are having sex, unfaithful spouses who have had affairs.  In all of these cases, there are sins being committed.  And don't we hold out the same hope for them, that they will turn away from Sin and turn to Jesus?  And don't we believe that Jesus' love and mercy is just as ready to greet them when they do so?

My point is, by remaining loving, supportive to your son - you will continue to reflect that loving supportive presence of Jesus to him as he tries to figure out who he is.  With your help he will know that he is created in the image and likeness of God, and like all of us, that he will work to resist the temptations that try to distort our reflecting that image and likeness.

I hope that is helpful.  You and your son will be in my prayers.  Let me know if you have any further questions-

Fr Jim