Catholic Singles

In terms of your question and the “roughin up the suspect” – (I’m assuming that your saying your brother in law is afraid to bring this up in confession?)  here’s the Catholic perspective and my own pastoral approach.

The Church teaches that the only place for physical sexual expression is in a heterosexual marriage.  So any deviation is considered “sinful”.   But the Church also understands people are human, sinful creatures – we fall short of the ideal (hence we consider the sacrament of reconciliation/confession a gift that Christ left us, as we keep trying…)

In the context of your brother in law’s mental disability, the Church also would teach/understand that would lessen his culpability.  That's not to give an excuse to continue with the sinful behavior.  It would be meant as a counsel to help focus on how  the person keeps trying to avoid this sinful temptation/behavior rather than focus on that they’ve “failed” and may continue to/have more difficulty than others not struggling with a similar disability.

Perhaps you can help him by finding a sensitive priest who could gently help him through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  We often think about confession solely as confessing on our sins, which can be a painfully challenging thing to acknowledge.  But an essential thing in that Sacrament that we as Catholics often forget about. I think it's St. Augustine who said God loves us - right now - right where we're at, right in the midst of our sinfulness and struggles... but loves us enough that he doesn't want to leave us there either. Hope that's helpful,

Father Jim